If I Stand...

Howdy Pilgrims,

Today, while studying the vast display of humidifiers at Meijer, I stumbled upon a 2011 wall calendar called “Paths to God”.  I bought it on a whim, and was relieved to find when I got home that the calendar was in fact about THE path to God, and not ALL paths to God, as I had begun to worry while driving home.  Like a good Baptist girl, I was surprisingly pleased to find that the calendar was not entirely filled with warm-fuzzies.  The year begins with a photo of an endless row of frost-covered trees, and displays the verse 1 Peter 2:21 “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.”  I realize that that verse comes from a passage about submitting to masters, but when you pull that verse out and place it in a frozen landscape, it calls you to follow down the path of suffering that Christ walked first.  This does not mean to be lead to certain doom, but to step in the footsteps that Christ left us in the snow as an example of how to cross, endure, and spiritually survive the terrain that causes us to suffer.  It is surprisingly comforting to start the year by thinking of the example that I have been given to follow.  I wonder how many other people out there will spend their January staring at the same scene ;)

~Andrea  

Edition:  1 hour status-post hovering over my new humidifier for an hour and a half I am able to breathe deeply without coughing or wheezing.  Mission Accomplished. 

FYI, I passed my board exam, and am officially a certified physician assistant.  I’m just waiting on my license to arrive, now.  

I spent the week with my parents.  It amazes me how discouraging some of my family members can be.  They congratulate me in one ear, and criticize my decisions in the other.  Everyone thinks they have a better idea of what I’m really capable of, and thinks that they would make more intelligent decisions if they were in my shoes.  Really, they have no clue what I’m capable of—none of them have watched me help heal people over and over again this past year.  They have never seen my strengths, and they have no concept of my motivations.  They can not fathom the logic behind a person choosing where they will live based upon where their church is located.  No, a person can not easily “make new friends somewhere else” and abandon their current friends when their current friends are the body of Christ.  Also, apparently psychiatry is “too easy.”  Tell that to my patients.  They will disagree.  I am so relieved to be home in the arms of my church.  It is the only place where I am not told I need to be like someone else (other than Jesus, of course).  

This was difficult to write, because testimonies are usually super melodramatic and involve giving up cocaine or prostitution or something.  I’ve had a pretty easy life, and my relationship with God himself has always been pretty easy.  My biggest spiritual struggle has always been finding a church home.  Since I have finally been given the church that I can call my family, this topic has totally consumed my mind, and I don’t know what else I really have to write about.  I will probably end up having to read a shorter version of this when I get (re)baptized.  I have to get (re)baptized, because I was not totally dunked during my first attempt, and my pastor has presented a very convincing argument stating that total submersion is the only form of baptism in the Bible, and is therefore the only legitimate form of baptism today.

I did not grow up in a Christian home.  My parents claim to believe in God, but have never explored their belief any farther than that simple claim.  I was blessed enough to have a neighbor who took me to her church as soon as I was able to walk and talk.  Thanks to her, I learned about God and his word just as naturally as I learned to read and write.  I had an easy time believing whatever I was taught, because I was fortunate enough to have no one telling me anything contrary.  I truly believe I was saved while I was still very young.  When I was 5 or 6 years old, I asked him to forgive me of my sins, to save me from judgment, and to come live in my heart.  I did not learn the proper terminology for the steps of salvation (regeneration, justification, and sanctification) until recently, but now I am able to look back and see how God has performed these works in me.  I have felt the Holy Spirit slowly building up His home in my heart and remodeling my mind.  With his word as a guide, I have felt him teach me how to serve him and his body—not out of fear, but out of love. 

I cannot remember a time when my faith in God has wavered, but there have been many times where my trust in The Church has.  While I was in college, I was constantly surrounded by spiritual warfare.  Surprisingly, I was not attacked by non-believers, but by supposed believers from within The Church.  While attending college churches, I was surrounded by false teachers of all types.  Some would ignore large parts of the Bible and only teach the concepts they liked. Others would take passages out of context in order to support their agenda.  Others would teach concepts that had nothing to do with the Bible.  Still, others were too afraid of offending someone to teach anything.  The constant lies gave me spiritual war wounds that were deep enough to leave me wary of all churches, so for a while, I tried to battle on alone without the body of Christ. 

When I moved across the state for graduate school 3 years ago, I felt the full weight of the loneliness and vulnerability I took on when I decided to fight my battles alone.   Even though I still feared being attacked from within the body, I knew that the Bible directly commanded me to commune with other Christians, and by avoiding The Church, I was being disobedient.  I prayed for an honest church, and was blessed to find Cornerstone relatively quickly (via Google).   I think I knew within 10 minutes of the first sermon that this church taught the whole Bible and nothing but the Bible.  I also learned very quickly that the members here live their lives as the adopted members of God’s family and that they function together as parts of the body of Christ. 

The CLAY ABF members immediately took me into their family and allowed me to function within their body.  Because they have constantly challenged me and nudged me forward, I have learned and grown spiritually more in the past 3 years than I did in my first 23 years.  They have given me opportunities to serve the Lord, and they have automatically given me the support in times of trials that I would never have dreamed of asking for.  I am so grateful to God for supplying me with exactly what I needed when I needed it.  I suppose I am also grateful for my prior struggles with churches, because without those struggles, I may not have appreciated the true uniqueness of the Cornerstone family.  Even though I am now finished with graduate school and have the option of moving anywhere in the country, I am choosing to stay here solely because I want to become an official member of the church that finally introduced me to the true body of Christ.  

Hey kids, I just added a recording of Selah singing “Before the Throne of God Above” to my playlist.  We sing it at my church.  I’m quite happy I finally found it.  It turns out I’ve been searching for it under the wrong name ;)  

I also finally put a recording on here of Travis Cottrell singing “In Christ Alone”.  He’s the guy that arranged it the way we sing it (with the “Solid Rock” part in it.)  Every time our Nathan sings it he totally rocks the snot out of it and makes me cry at least a little.  I think this is my favorite hymn we do.  The words are so important.  

For “The Witch of En-dor, Part 1”, go here:  http://ifistand.tumblr.com/post/636351377/most-idiotic-geekiest-statement-of-the-week-aka

So, tonight my CLAY peeps and I were sitting around in a park in total pitch-blackness.  We had a couple flashlights and a Bible.  Someone said “lets tell ghost stories”.  I replied, “I know a really creepy one…”  We proceeded to act out the story of Saul and the Witch of En-dor.  I was the witch ;)  It was hilarious, and now I will never confuse the Witch of En-dor with Star Wars again ;)  

(The story I’m referring to is in 1 Samuel 28.) 

Hi.  

I have the same problem/gift.  I think I was in middle school when I realized that not everyone has a deep  automatic understanding of the emotions of the people around them.  I think I was in high school when I realized that the depth of my intuition seems to actually be quite rare.  I’m not bragging when I say that.  It’s not a skill I developed on my own.  I do not at all take credit for it.  It was a skill given to me by God, and I fully understand that it is for His use.  He gave it to me because he wants to accomplish His work through it.    

It used to break my heart—sometimes it still does.  I used to consider the gift a curse.  I used to try to harness the skill on my own.  I guess I thought I was that guy from “The Green Mile” or something.  I’d suck in all the bad and try to contain it in myself.  I thought it didn’t matter as long as I was somehow able to help the person the pain came from.  Eventually I learned how to give the pain up to God.  Now I can pretty much just be the tool without self-destructing.  

I am very very soon going to officially be a licensed physician assistant.  I use my skill of empathy to help me recognize the full scope of my patients’ ailments, and to recognize which problems I can actually help them with.  I am very observant about facial expressions, body language, and vocal patterns.  I can often times pick up on issues that my attending physicians do not notice.  I am now becoming very grateful for this extra skill that makes my job much easier…Well, it’s definitely not easer, actually.  It becomes much bigger and much more complex.  I guess my skill just makes my job more…complete?  Accomplished.  

So my point is, your ability to feel other peoples’ pain is a gift, even if it feels like a curse.  It can become a wonderful strength.  You can use it to accomplish works for God.  You just have to learn how to give that pain over to Him.  I have a strong feeling you’ll get the hang of it ; )  I’m excited to meet someone else that shares my gift, and I will look forward to hearing about how it enriches your life, so keep sharing :)  

Your sister in Christ,

Andrea

living4himalone:

God, why have you created me to be one that empathizes with other people?  That feels their hurt when they hurt? WHY?